Worship Wednesday: For Goodness Sake

Today, I was inspired by the Kristian Stanfill song, Holding My World. I was inspired to worship God for His goodness.

For the past couple of months I have been reading through the book of Psalms, and today as I listened to this song I was reminded of one verse in particular that has really stuck with me over the last couple of weeks.

Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

 Psalm 34:8 (NLT)

This is one of my favorite verses, and it must really be one that God wants me to remember right now, because I have been running across this verse a lot lately. I've read it in my quiet time, on a church sign and again in one of the books I've been reading recently.

 I once heard a speaker say that the reason for many of our troubles & doubts in life is that we really don't believe that God is good.

God is good...this of one of the most foundational truths. We can't truly worship Him if we don't believe that He is good! We must believe in His goodness and believe that all His plans and all His ways are good. He has good things for us, and if we follow Him and seek His will, all things, even the evil done against us, will ultimately turn out for our good. Like the song said, "Our God is a God who never forgets all of His goodness and all of His promises!" David knew that to be true! Even in the midst of all his hardship and all his questioning, he believed in God's goodness.

Psalm 27

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my light and my salvation—
    so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
    so why should I tremble?
² When evil people come to devour me,
    when my enemies and foes attack me,
    they will stumble and fall.
³ Though a mighty army surrounds me,
    my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
    I will remain confident.

⁴ The one thing I ask of the Lord—
    the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
    delighting in the Lord’s perfections
    and meditating in his Temple.
⁵ For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
    he will hide me in his sanctuary.
    He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
⁶ Then I will hold my head high
    above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
    singing and praising the Lord with music.

⁷ Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
    Be merciful and answer me!
⁸ My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
    And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
⁹ Do not turn your back on me.
    Do not reject your servant in anger.
    You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
    O God of my salvation!
¹⁰ Even if my father and mother abandon me,
    the Lord will hold me close.

¹¹ Teach me how to live, O Lord.
    Lead me along the right path,
    for my enemies are waiting for me.
¹² Do not let me fall into their hands.
    For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
    with every breath they threaten me with violence.
¹³ Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
    while I am here in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait patiently for the Lord.
    Be brave and courageous.
    Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

David's confidence in the Lord's goodness sustained him through times of trouble, and I believe it will do the same for us.

God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good. We have said that phrase over and over again in church services, but do we really believe that God is good even when times are not good for us!? Do we have confidence in His goodness!

I am just now beginning to have full confidence in God's goodness. I have not always believed in my heart that God is good. I've known it in my head, but I never fully believed it in my heart until recently.  When we don't believe in God's goodness, then we believe that it is up to us to look out for ourselves and our families and make plans for good things to happen in our lives.

When I was a teenager, I used to be afraid that the husband that God had picked out for me would be some fat, ugly, bald guy (no offense intended). I know how silly and shallow that sounds, but thinking like that just shows how much I doubted God's goodness. I thought that God would give me a spouse that I didn't want or wasn't attracted to. I thought that God was just a dictator of sorts. Someone who just made things happen and didn't really care what I wanted. That's not a good God!

It's true that God's plans are not our plans and God's ways are not our ways, but God's plans for us are always good! His plans are always better than ours!

Later in my teenage years, I discovered this verse in Jeremiah:

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) 

That verse became my favorite verse. It became a promise that I could cling to. For me, that verse became the beginning of a confident belief in God's goodness!

HE IS GOOD. He has given me evidence of that over and over again in my life. He has sustained me, and I know that I can cling to the goodness of His character when times get tough!

 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)

I will worship Him this week for His goodness!!

Time To Get Real

As you may have noticed, the interlude between posts on this blogs has grown longer and longer. To be quite honest, posting has not been a priority of mine as of late. You see, I am in the midst of a time of transition and growth. I have been spending much of my days reading and journaling. I have been praying and seeking guidance, wisdom, and clarity for this journey that I am on.

This post, I hope, will be the beginning of a huge shift on this blog and in my life...a shift towards transparency. I was originally inspired to start this blog by a dear long-distance friend of mine. I was amazed by how she shared about her life with such openness and raw emotion on her blog...how she revealed her struggles and let everyone see the painful journey she was on. I wanted to be honest with people, like she was, but I have always been a wearer of masks! I have always been one to shove sadness, pain, and disappointment down deep inside, and put on a smiling face for the world. But let's get real...that kind of behavior is deceptive. It deceives us and others, and keeps us from forming deep relationships with people and ministering to them in their pain.

So, today, I want to get real with you! I am courageously taking off the mask for a moment, and sharing with you an entry from my journal this past month. 

What do you do when you feel like God has closed a door to you that you long to be opened? Do you wait, believing that He will open it? Do you sink into deep despair?  How can you accept the fact that it is a door that may never be opened for you? Do you just wait patiently, or do you knock on other doors? 

What if you feel Him leading you toward another door, but it is a door that is different from the norm? It's a door that brings fear of what others will think, fear of falling short, and a door that fills you with thoughts of inadequacy. It's another door that you dream of, but the future through this door is less certain.

This is surely an opportunity for faith. Everything within me tells me to knock on this second door, but there is so much uncertainty, and I want to be sure that God is prompting me to knock on that door. I know that I have to trust Him to guide me and take care of me, but there is so much turmoil in my soul.

For 3.5 years, we have longed to started a family. It is natural for us to want. People ask us all the time when we plan to start a family. They say, don't you think it is time? It has been so difficult for us. We feel like God has closed that door, and we don't understand why. We don't know what to tell people. We hide the pain and disappointment. We keep hoping...and then we begin to lose hope.

For the past year this has been a huge struggle of mine, a heart-wrenching battle of pain and disappointment. It has rocked my world, shaken me to the core, and destroyed my picture of what the future looks like for us. But through all of this, God has been working in my heart, and piece by piece, I have been letting go of my plan.

It is hard to let go of your plan when you cannot see the alternative plan, but that is what faith and trust is all about! In the past six months, God has brought a peace to my heart regarding our inability to conceive a child. It is not yet a complete healing of all sadness and disappointment. He hasn't taken away the longing, but he has eased the pain. He has taken away feelings of jealousy and envy towards others who conceive without even trying.

During this time of waiting and hoping and praying, the Lord keeps bringing to my mind the idea of going back to school for my master's degree in order to receive further training for ministry. This is something I want, but it scares me to death. I am so afraid of failing, so afraid of the financial investment and the time investment. I am so scared that, even after receiving more training and education, the doors of ministry will still not be opened to me. I am afraid of the future finances of our family, and I am afraid that the Lord is leading me down this path as a way of telling me that I must give up my dream and desire of becoming a mother. I am full of confusion, and I just want the Lord to give me clarity.

Lately, the Lord has been speaking to me over and over again through His word. He has been saying...

I am your Refuge. I am your security, your shelter, your safe place, your strength! 

 I know that He wants me to release my fear of the future and trust in His perfect plan. I am almost there! I have surrendered so much, but I can feel myself hanging on to the last remnants of my plan for the future. I don't want to let go of my vision, my limited vision of what the future should look like.

Lord, I want to surrender it all! I want to open my hands to receive what you have to give. I want to trust you for the future, and I want your peace and joy even in the midst of uncertainty. 

Well, that is my struggle...that is my story. 

I must praise the Lord for the progress that He has made in me in just the few short weeks since that journal entry was written. I am continuing to shift my focus to His goodness and understand that His vision and plan for my life is not limited, like my human vision is. He can do whatever He wants in my life, and it will be so much better than any plan I could ever come up with.

⁵ LORD, You are my portion
and my cup of blessing;
You hold my future.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me
in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

 ⁷ I will praise the LORD who counsels me—
even at night my conscience instructs me.
⁸ I keep the LORD in mind always.
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

 ⁹ Therefore my heart is glad
and my spirit rejoices;
my body also rests securely. 
¹⁰ For You will not abandon me to Sheol;
You will not allow Your Faithful One to see decay.
¹¹ You reveal the path of life to me;
in Your presence is abundant joy;
in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.

 Psalm 16: 5-11 (HCSB)