"In the rain, the pavement shines like silver. All the lights are misty in the river..."
This song from Les Miserables brought back a flood of memories. I remembered being 14 years old and singing this song for an audition for a community theater production. I was so young and inexperienced, and honestly, I was not very confident in my performance. I'm not even sure what possessed me to audition for this production, except for maybe the fact that my best friend was auditioning too. I can remember leaving the audition having no expectations of getting a part. It was fun to audition, and it really stretched me out of my comfort zone. A few days later, when I received the call, I was flabbergasted! They wanted me for a part! I didn't feel like I was good enough, but they saw something in me that made me desirable for the part. So, I set out on an adventure. I welcomed the new experience with excitement...nervous excitement, but excitement nonetheless. Somehow, I trusted that I would be able to do the job that they had called me to do.
As I was reflecting on that experience, I realized how much I could learn from my former self. As I begin to embark on a new adventure in my life right now, I have many doubts and fears. Faith doesn't come as easy for me as it used to. At 14 years of age, I looked at life as an adventure and trusted God to give me the skills I needed when He sent me out on a new journey. I want desperately to see life that way again! This new journey I am embarking on is unexpected and a little scary for me. I don't feel good enough or skilled enough, but for some reason God saw in me something desirable that He could use.
I was surprised and overwhelmed in early December when we discovered that we were expecting another little one. Ember was only 7 months old! I fretted a bit over how we were going to break the news to everyone and what everyone would think. I am still a bit in shock and find it hard to believe that in 5 short months I will be the mother of a 15 month old and a newborn. However, I know that God has a plan, and I want to believe that if I rely on Him that He will give me the strength and grace that I need to be a good mother of two, a good wife, and a good companion and spiritual advisor to those He puts in my path. The 14 year old me is telling me to look at all of this as a new adventure...to be excited about the endless possibilities of the future! The young adults that I have started leading on Sunday afternoons have also reminded me to enjoy and make the most of every new opportunity and to dare to dream again. So, I will carry on and follow this new path that the Lord has set before my feet, and I will resolve to look at every bump in the road and every mountain in the way as a new and exciting adventure!
Then he sent them out to tell everyone about the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick. “Take nothing for your journey,” he instructed them. “Don’t take a walking stick, a traveler’s bag, food, money, or even a change of clothes. Luke 9:2-3 NLT
I am reminded by this verse that I don't have to have anything for this journey. God will provide; God will give me all that I need to be an effective mother, wife, and spiritual leader. So, all I have to do is step out in faith, stay near to Him, and enjoy the adventure!
Thank you, Lord, for new adventures!
