For years now, I have struggled with my weight. It all started in high school. I was a healthy average-sized teenage girl who thought that she was fat. I don't know exactly where I got that idea, but I do know that it was an attack from Satan. I obsessed about how I looked, and I called myself fat so many times that it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. My first year in college, I surpassed the freshman 15 and went on to gain a whopping 30 lbs. Even after adding that weight, I was still a healthy size, but I had begun to spin out of control. I had begun to neglect myself and give in to a negative self image. By the time I graduated from college, I had gained another 35 lbs. Then, I got married and very very busy. Ministry and other responsibilities had myself and Mr. The King away from home so much that we resorted to eating out often, which proved to be bad for both our budget and our waistlines. By the time we had been married a year, I was up another 35 lbs., and I felt completely defeated.
For the past 5 years, I have fought the fight with my weight. I have suffered physically because of my weight and my busy lifestyle, and I have tried almost anything possible to loss weight and relieve stress. I have gone on various diet and exercise plans, which were fruitful for awhile, but unsuccessful in the long run. I tried therapy, which was helpful but didn't solve my problems. I summoned up my will power, only to realize that I didn't have much will power after taking care of all my responsibilities. Then last year, I lost 25 lbs. and I started feeling really good about myself...only one problem with that...it was mostly a side effect of a prescription medication I was prescribed for some of my health issues. I was eating healthy and exercising some, but the medication gave me that edge. It was the one thing that kept me from feeling completely exhausted and down-right weary. Then, I felt God calling me to reevaluate my life and my priorities; he called me to slow down, focus on Him, and let Him make some radical changes in my life. As a result, I quit my job, I lost my health insurance, and no more medication. And guess what...I gained 30 lbs.
Do I blame God for this? Do I think He messed me up just when I was starting to get things together? Well, maybe I did have that thought in the back of my head for a little while, but I don't now. I know that He was saving me from another short term fix...from a patch up job of sorts. He wants to make lasting change in all areas of my life: physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. Over the past 8 months, I have learned to trust Him like never before. I have learned to rely on Him, and I have developed a desire for Him above and beyond anything I have ever felt in the past. Now, I am ready for Him to do with me as He pleases. I am ready for Him to make big changes in my heart and in my life, and He has already begun.
Finally, I get to share with you the victory that inspired me to write this entire post. It may seem small and insignificant to some, but for me it is a huge triumph...
This week, I have lost 6 lbs. !!!That is huge progress, especially considering that I have done nothing special to achieve those results except for bringing my priorities into alignment with God's plan and God's way. At the beginning of the week, I was so disgusted with myself and so down. I just prayed for God's help to make a change physically, and things just feel into place this week! I was consistent with my sleep, going to bed and getting up at around the same time each day, and I was consistent with my meals, eating regularly and eating only enough to fill my physical hunger. God gave me the strength!! I didn't do it on my own!
I have such a long way to go, and I need His strength to continue. I won't lie, it is going to be a long and difficult process, but I want to keep Him front and center through it all! I want this to be the beginning of truly lasting change for me!
Look at the verse that just happens to be the verse of the day on biblegateway.com today:
“The LORD will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.” Psalm 138:8 NLT
And He won't abondon me, I know that!! He won't abandon you either!!
