Worship Wednesday: Very Personal Worship

"It's just you and me here now. It's just you and me here now."

As a worship leader, I am learning the great need for personal times of private worship. It has become so important for me. I have learned that I cannot rely on the services that I plan for each week to fuel me spiritually. I can't even rely on my personal times of Bible study. I need to be refilled after pouring myself out constantly, week after week, and the only thing I have found to do that is simply sitting in His presence, pouring out my heart, and singing His praises.

People think that it is strange to put on praise and worship music and sit silently before the Lord, or cry out to Him in your living room with your face on the floor. Isn't that why we have weekly worship services? Shouldn't we be doing something more productive on "our own time"? Shouldn't we be reading or planning, or cleaning or serving? All of those things are great and wonderful, but they will not refresh and renew your spirit. I can read the Bible all day...I can study out it's meaning, but until I sit before the Lord broken and empty, those words will not do me any good. We must allow God's strength to seep into our soul as we sit before Him meditating on His Words, pondering His goodness and faithfulness.

⁴⁵ Immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, to Bethsaida, while He sent the multitude away. ⁴⁶ And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray. ⁴⁷ Now when evening came, the boat was in the middle of the sea; and He was alone on the land.

                                                      Mark 6: 45-47


If Jesus found it necessary to spend some time communing with the Father away from the crowds and even away from His disciples, then it must have been really important. You see, Jesus' time to minister on earth was limited, so He made the most of every minute. However, we see that there are several times when He goes away by himself to have some personal time with His Father, to draw strength from God to carry on. He did this for our benefit, so that we might see that private time spent with the Father is productive and necessary!

If there is one thing that I have learned, it's that focusing on your relationship with the Father above all other things is not selfish! Until we have gained strength, and wisdom and understanding from Him, we are of no use to anybody! So, let's give the Lord of our time and our praise and let Him fill us, strengthen us and renew our spirit.

⁵ My soul, wait silently for God alone,
         For my expectation is from Him.
 ⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation;
         He is my defense; 
         I shall not be moved.
 ⁷ In God is my salvation and my glory;
         The rock of my strength, 
         And my refuge, is in God. 
         
 ⁸ Trust in Him at all times, you people;
         Pour out your heart before Him; 
         God is a refuge for us.  Selah  

                                     Psalm 62: 5-8

 ³⁰ Even the youths shall faint and be weary, 

      And the young men shall utterly fall,        ³¹ But those who wait on the LORD       Shall renew their strength;       They shall mount up with wings like eagles,       They shall run and not be weary,       They shall walk and not faint.

                                         Isaiah 40: 30-31

 ¹ Let all that I am praise the LORD;
      with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.
 ² Let all that I am praise the LORD;
      may I never forget the good things he does for me.
 ³ He forgives all my sins
      and heals all my diseases.
 ⁴ He redeems me from death
      and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
 ⁵ He fills my life with good things.
      My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!

 ⁶ The LORD gives righteousness
      and justice to all who are treated unfairly.

 ⁷ He revealed his character to Moses
      and his deeds to the people of Israel.
 ⁸ The LORD is compassionate and merciful,
      slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
 ⁹ He will not constantly accuse us,
      nor remain angry forever.
 ¹⁰ He does not punish us for all our sins;
      he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
 ¹¹ For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
      is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
 ¹² He has removed our sins as far from us
      as the east is from the west.
 ¹³ The LORD is like a father to his children,
      tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
 ¹⁴ For he knows how weak we are;
      he remembers we are only dust.
 ¹⁵ Our days on earth are like grass;
      like wildflowers, we bloom and die.
 ¹⁶ The wind blows, and we are gone—
      as though we had never been here.
 ¹⁷ But the love of the LORD remains forever
      with those who fear him. 
   His salvation extends to the children’s children
    ¹⁸ of those who are faithful to his covenant,
      of those who obey his commandments!

 ¹⁹ The LORD has made the heavens his throne;
      from there he rules over everything.

 ²⁰ Praise the LORD, you angels,
      you mighty ones who carry out his plans,
      listening for each of his commands.
 ²¹ Yes, praise the LORD, you armies of angels
      who serve him and do his will!
 ²² Praise the LORD, everything he has created,
      everything in all his kingdom.

   Let all that I am praise the LORD.

                            Psalm 103

Today, I will let the words of the Lord seep into my spirit, I will let His praises pour from my soul, and I will listen for His voice. Then, I am confident that He will give me the strength and the wisdom I need to minister to others and to fulfill His will for me today.

Ministry Monday: Cub Scouts

Cub Scouts is a part of the Boy Scouts Of America. The scouting program involves so much more than just hiking, camping and fishing. Each level of Scouting focuses on building character traits and good citizenship.

The Cub Scout program targets 1st-5th graders. Each grade level has its own small group or Den. All the Dens come together at least once a month to form a pack that does activities together. The smallest scouts learn team work, as well as other life skills, by experiencing life in a controlled environment. The scouts will visit a police or fire station, a TV or radio station, attend a professional team sport game like baseball or hockey, a historical site and the list goes on. The boys are encouraged to do activities both with the scout unit, Pack, and with their families. These activities are innumerable and include playing a team sport, biking, hiking, fishing and camping. The motto of the Scout program is Fun With A Purpose. Everything we do in Scouts is about learning but is also about having fun.

So.... how is this a ministry???  Is there a spiritual aspect of scouting???

Well, Churches, Civic Organizations, and other Community Groups can host a unit such as a Pack. That is exactly what our church has done. I am the Adult leader known as the Cub Master... meaning I oversee the program and supervise other leaders. The King's Queen is the Tiger Den Leader meaning she is the adult leader who directly teaches the Tigers or 1st graders.

The Cub Scout oath is as follows:

I promise to do my best, to do my duty to God and my Country, to help other people and obey the law of the pack.

In many cases God is explained as the Great Scout who created the world and everything in it. Primarily though, the scouting program is an opportunity to introduce families in the community to the leaders of the host church and to inform the families about the ministries offered by the church. Ministry is all about growing relationships with the ones in the community where God has called you to minister and creating a doorway to minister to these families in other ways, so Scouting can be used as a great ministry outreach program.

There are Scouting opportunities for boys of all ages, so just log onto scouting.org for more information about Scouting in your area. I have personally seen lives changed for Christ through Scouting and would encourage others to pursue Scouting as a ministry.

Feeling Fabulous Friday Returns

Some days, I really don't know why I chose to make Friday's posts about "feeling fabulous." After all, there are so many days when I don't feel fabulous. Honestly, there are so many days when it is difficult for me to even get out of bed. However, I know that the original idea of these Friday posts was to look forward to healing and wholeness, to focus on the positive, and to encourage others. So I will press on and continue to post about how I am feeling, whether it's fabulous or not, and what God is teaching me about finding peace with my circumstances and living in the abundant life that He offers.

 ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

                                                                 John 10: 10 ESV

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

                                                                 Matthew 11: 28-30 NLT

Today has been a day of bombarding myself with scripture and music that speaks of hope and healing and the love of God. I have been re-reading some of my old posts and asking the Lord to break this cycle that I have of tearing down what He has built up. The last three months have been such a challenge as I have gone off medication. I feel as if all progress was stifled for a while. I had a few setbacks, and I allowed myself to buckle under the pressure and to fall into the old habits of tearing myself apart. However, I know that I have to choose everyday to see the progress instead of the setbacks, and today I will rejoice because I am being remade. I am still seeking that wholeness that I posted about on the very first Feeling Fabulous Friday, and I will continue to pursue it and learn along the way.

This song is my new anthem:

Change in the Making 

Addison Road

Lord, give me strength and replace my sight with yours as you make me new!

Worship Wednesday: Worship Through It

Do you ever feel like you are expected to hide your pain and hurt behind a happy face when you walk through the doors of church? I know I do!

As a worship leader, I feel as if I am expected to set aside my feelings and lead everyone in a happy chorus. I feel as if I am supposed to be some sort of super hero who is never hurt by criticism and gossip, never has a bad day, never grows weary, and never needs encouragement! Truthfully, I feel as if I am not supposed to be honest about my pain and suffering.

Can I really lead people in worship when I am sad, hurt and confused? I should certainly hope so! Where else can we take those feelings but before the throne of God?

Leading a congregation into worship isn't always about giving an upbeat offering of praise that has everybody clapping and raising their hands. It should be about bringing an honest offering before the Lord. We must worship in whatever state we are in!

I think of the psalmist, David. He was so honest before the Lord. He offered praise to the Lord out of brokenness and suffering.

Psalm 69

For the choir director: A psalm of David, to be sung to the tune “Lilies.”

 ¹ Save me, O God,
      for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
 ² Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
      I can’t find a foothold.
   I am in deep water,
      and the floods overwhelm me.
 ³ I am exhausted from crying for help;
      my throat is parched.
   My eyes are swollen with weeping,
      waiting for my God to help me.
 ⁴ Those who hate me without cause
      outnumber the hairs on my head.
   Many enemies try to destroy me with lies,
      demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.

 ⁵ O God, you know how foolish I am;
      my sins cannot be hidden from you.
 ⁶ Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me,
      O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
   Don’t let me cause them to be humiliated,
      O God of Israel.
 ⁷ For I endure insults for your sake;
      humiliation is written all over my face.
 ⁸ Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me;
      they treat me like a stranger.

 ⁹ Passion for your house has consumed me,
      and the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.
 ¹⁰ When I weep and fast,
      they scoff at me.
 ¹¹ When I dress in burlap to show sorrow,
      they make fun of me.
 ¹² I am the favorite topic of town gossip,
      and all the drunks sing about me.

 ¹³ But I keep praying to you, Lord,
      hoping this time you will show me favor.
   In your unfailing love, O God,
      answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
 ¹⁴ Rescue me from the mud;
      don’t let me sink any deeper!
   Save me from those who hate me,
      and pull me from these deep waters.
 ¹⁵ Don’t let the floods overwhelm me,
      or the deep waters swallow me,
      or the pit of death devour me.

 ¹⁶ Answer my prayers, O Lord,
      for your unfailing love is wonderful.
   Take care of me,
      for your mercy is so plentiful.
 ¹⁷ Don’t hide from your servant;
      answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble!
 ¹⁸ Come and redeem me;
      free me from my enemies.

 ¹⁹ You know of my shame, scorn, and disgrace.
      You see all that my enemies are doing.
 ²⁰ Their insults have broken my heart,
      and I am in despair.
   If only one person would show some pity;
      if only one would turn and comfort me.
 ²¹ But instead, they give me poison^[a] for food;
      they offer me sour wine for my thirst.

 ²² Let the bountiful table set before them become a snare
      and their prosperity become a trap.^[b]
 23 Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see,
      and make their bodies shake continually.^[c]
 24 Pour out your fury on them;
      consume them with your burning anger.
 ²⁵ Let their homes become desolate
      and their tents be deserted.
 ²⁶ To the one you have punished, they add insult to injury;
      they add to the pain of those you have hurt.
 ²⁷ Pile their sins up high,
      and don’t let them go free.
 ²⁸ Erase their names from the Book of Life;
      don’t let them be counted among the righteous.

 ²⁹ I am suffering and in pain.
      Rescue me, O God, by your saving power.

 ³⁰ Then I will praise God’s name with singing,
      and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
 ³¹ For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle,
      more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
 ³² The humble will see their God at work and be glad.
      Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
 ³³ For the Lord hears the cries of the needy;
      he does not despise his imprisoned people.

 ³⁴ Praise him, O heaven and earth,
      the seas and all that move in them.
 ³⁵ For God will save Jerusalem^[d]
      and rebuild the towns of Judah.
   His people will live there
      and settle in their own land.
 ³⁶ The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land,
      and those who love him will live there in safety.

That is honest praise and honest worship! Honest praise says, "Lord, I am in a terrible state right now. I am in pain, but you are God! I am hurt, but you are doing a work in me! I am down, but you can lift me up! Despite all that I am going through right now, I know that you are good! Come and comfort my heart!"

Shame on all of us for making people feel as if they must have it all together or at least appear to have it all together in order to participate in corporate worship. As difficult as it may be, I want to try to set an example of honest worship. I want to show people that we can praise through the pain! I pray that the Lord would allow me to be truly transparent and lead people towards honesty in worship this year.

This blog post that I read today has inspired me to open up my heart and let people see both the good and bad.

Worship Leading Secrets: Don’t Hide Your Suffering - David Santistevan | David Santistevan

I don't want to hide my suffering anymore! I can't truly worship when I am in hiding. I hope to share more openly and honestly on the blog this year, and I hope that you will be patient with me and my ramblings.

Here is my worship song for the day:

Beautiful

By Kari Jobe

Worship when you are broken and sad. Worship when you are confused and depressed. Worship when you are weak and in physical pain. Pour your praise out in the good times and bad!