Worship Wednesday: Worship Through It

Do you ever feel like you are expected to hide your pain and hurt behind a happy face when you walk through the doors of church? I know I do!

As a worship leader, I feel as if I am expected to set aside my feelings and lead everyone in a happy chorus. I feel as if I am supposed to be some sort of super hero who is never hurt by criticism and gossip, never has a bad day, never grows weary, and never needs encouragement! Truthfully, I feel as if I am not supposed to be honest about my pain and suffering.

Can I really lead people in worship when I am sad, hurt and confused? I should certainly hope so! Where else can we take those feelings but before the throne of God?

Leading a congregation into worship isn't always about giving an upbeat offering of praise that has everybody clapping and raising their hands. It should be about bringing an honest offering before the Lord. We must worship in whatever state we are in!

I think of the psalmist, David. He was so honest before the Lord. He offered praise to the Lord out of brokenness and suffering.

Psalm 69

For the choir director: A psalm of David, to be sung to the tune “Lilies.”

 ¹ Save me, O God,
      for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
 ² Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
      I can’t find a foothold.
   I am in deep water,
      and the floods overwhelm me.
 ³ I am exhausted from crying for help;
      my throat is parched.
   My eyes are swollen with weeping,
      waiting for my God to help me.
 ⁴ Those who hate me without cause
      outnumber the hairs on my head.
   Many enemies try to destroy me with lies,
      demanding that I give back what I didn’t steal.

 ⁵ O God, you know how foolish I am;
      my sins cannot be hidden from you.
 ⁶ Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me,
      O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies.
   Don’t let me cause them to be humiliated,
      O God of Israel.
 ⁷ For I endure insults for your sake;
      humiliation is written all over my face.
 ⁸ Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me;
      they treat me like a stranger.

 ⁹ Passion for your house has consumed me,
      and the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.
 ¹⁰ When I weep and fast,
      they scoff at me.
 ¹¹ When I dress in burlap to show sorrow,
      they make fun of me.
 ¹² I am the favorite topic of town gossip,
      and all the drunks sing about me.

 ¹³ But I keep praying to you, Lord,
      hoping this time you will show me favor.
   In your unfailing love, O God,
      answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
 ¹⁴ Rescue me from the mud;
      don’t let me sink any deeper!
   Save me from those who hate me,
      and pull me from these deep waters.
 ¹⁵ Don’t let the floods overwhelm me,
      or the deep waters swallow me,
      or the pit of death devour me.

 ¹⁶ Answer my prayers, O Lord,
      for your unfailing love is wonderful.
   Take care of me,
      for your mercy is so plentiful.
 ¹⁷ Don’t hide from your servant;
      answer me quickly, for I am in deep trouble!
 ¹⁸ Come and redeem me;
      free me from my enemies.

 ¹⁹ You know of my shame, scorn, and disgrace.
      You see all that my enemies are doing.
 ²⁰ Their insults have broken my heart,
      and I am in despair.
   If only one person would show some pity;
      if only one would turn and comfort me.
 ²¹ But instead, they give me poison^[a] for food;
      they offer me sour wine for my thirst.

 ²² Let the bountiful table set before them become a snare
      and their prosperity become a trap.^[b]
 23 Let their eyes go blind so they cannot see,
      and make their bodies shake continually.^[c]
 24 Pour out your fury on them;
      consume them with your burning anger.
 ²⁵ Let their homes become desolate
      and their tents be deserted.
 ²⁶ To the one you have punished, they add insult to injury;
      they add to the pain of those you have hurt.
 ²⁷ Pile their sins up high,
      and don’t let them go free.
 ²⁸ Erase their names from the Book of Life;
      don’t let them be counted among the righteous.

 ²⁹ I am suffering and in pain.
      Rescue me, O God, by your saving power.

 ³⁰ Then I will praise God’s name with singing,
      and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
 ³¹ For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle,
      more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
 ³² The humble will see their God at work and be glad.
      Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
 ³³ For the Lord hears the cries of the needy;
      he does not despise his imprisoned people.

 ³⁴ Praise him, O heaven and earth,
      the seas and all that move in them.
 ³⁵ For God will save Jerusalem^[d]
      and rebuild the towns of Judah.
   His people will live there
      and settle in their own land.
 ³⁶ The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land,
      and those who love him will live there in safety.

That is honest praise and honest worship! Honest praise says, "Lord, I am in a terrible state right now. I am in pain, but you are God! I am hurt, but you are doing a work in me! I am down, but you can lift me up! Despite all that I am going through right now, I know that you are good! Come and comfort my heart!"

Shame on all of us for making people feel as if they must have it all together or at least appear to have it all together in order to participate in corporate worship. As difficult as it may be, I want to try to set an example of honest worship. I want to show people that we can praise through the pain! I pray that the Lord would allow me to be truly transparent and lead people towards honesty in worship this year.

This blog post that I read today has inspired me to open up my heart and let people see both the good and bad.

Worship Leading Secrets: Don’t Hide Your Suffering - David Santistevan | David Santistevan

I don't want to hide my suffering anymore! I can't truly worship when I am in hiding. I hope to share more openly and honestly on the blog this year, and I hope that you will be patient with me and my ramblings.

Here is my worship song for the day:

Beautiful

By Kari Jobe

Worship when you are broken and sad. Worship when you are confused and depressed. Worship when you are weak and in physical pain. Pour your praise out in the good times and bad!